It's a Trap!

4 Miracles of Woman

Getting wet without taking a shower
Bleeding without getting hurt
Giving milk without eating grass
Making boneless meat hard.

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Parrot

Late one night, a burglar broke into a house he thought was empty. He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly he froze in his tracks when he heard a loud voice say, "Jesus is watching you!"

Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again.

"Jesus is watching you," the voice boomed again.

The burglar stopped dead again. He was frightened. Frantically, he looked all around. In a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a parrot.

He asked the parrot,"Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?"

"Yes," said the parrot.

The burglar breathed a sigh of relief, and asked the parrot,"What's your name?"

"Clarence," said the bird.

"That's a stupid name for a parrot," sneered the burglar."What idiot would name a parrot Clarence?"

The parrot said, "The same idiot who named the Rottweiller Jesus."

Hat

An elderly man was quite unhappy because he had lost his favorite hat. Instead of buying a new one, he decided he would go to church and swipe one out of the vestibule.

When he got there, an usher intercepted him at the door and took him to a pew where he had to sit and listen to the entire sermon on "The Ten Commandments."

After church, the man met the preacher in the vestibule doorway, shook his had vigorously, and told him "I want to thank you preacher for saving my soul today. I came to church to steal a hat and after hearing your sermon on the 10 Commandments, I decided against it."

Preacher: "You mean the commandment 'I shall not steal' changed your mind?"

Old Man: "No, the one about adultery did. As soon as you said that I remember where I left my old hat!"

Magician Show

A Las Vegas magician amazed the crowd - so much so that a man in the back of the theater yelled, "How'd you do that?"

The magician responded with a laugh, "If I told you, sir, I'd have to kill you."

The man yelled back, "Okay, then, tell my wife!"

Effect ef Sex Absentinence